Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
