Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
