That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
