youre lurking in front of me
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Help me help you realize you are a moron
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
