I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
