She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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