hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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