He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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