last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
