She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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