If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
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