when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Sacagawea was the original milf.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
