She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
so much tequila, so little girl.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
