i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
