i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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