how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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