I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize