he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize