Where is the hickey?
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
