Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
