i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
