you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
