Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
