The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
