oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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