So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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