Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
i dont even know how to be here
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
