Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
