I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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