He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
