I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
