I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize