Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Randomize
