We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize