Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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