Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
