it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
We had to coat check the pizza.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
