there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
We had sex on a dog bed..
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
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