So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
