I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
This is classic penis vs brain.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
