I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Dignity is for republicans.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize
