S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Randomize
