bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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