He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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