pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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