Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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