Ketchup is God's man juice
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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