And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Randomize
