just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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