as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
It's blow job season.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize
