I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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