I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
