glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize