Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
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