Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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