This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
