it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
