i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
