office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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