apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Randomize
