i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I don't think brook has ever known best
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
she told me i tasted like america
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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