I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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