were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
