HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Dignity is for republicans.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
