we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
