we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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