I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
We just shotgunned beers for America
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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