hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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