soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
