After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
