so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
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